ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
