I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
