Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
