Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
