She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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