we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
