I cockslap morals
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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