Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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