And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
