the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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