is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
