Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
