who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize