shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
