Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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