If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Randomize
