so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
