well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
