just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
