I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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