Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
