90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
