Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
