i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He better not be in your backpack
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
