DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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