So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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