I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
