Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
