hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
