No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
