Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
