so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
