Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
