...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize