If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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