he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
