I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize