Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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