she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
