once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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