just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
