end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
