WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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