i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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