This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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