I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
