i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I have post one night stand depression
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