My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This is not my ceiling
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
