do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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