he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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