So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
