Buhtt sex?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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