they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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