weddingsv make me drug and hornr
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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