JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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