Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
