I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize