ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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