So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
