Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
