im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
thus making me awesome and them whores
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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