Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
